So not to fulfill the cliche that the spoiled kids endlessly frustrate the Au pair who things she knows better and can change the world, but it's totally true. I am pretty frustrated. I have just over 2 weeks left here, and I'm going to be honest, I am so ready to come home. I'm finding though, it's not due to the things I thought it would be.
For example, someone once mentioned to me that they'd spent some time travelling through southern Germany and were surprised by how spiritually dark it was. I thought that was such an odd perception to make as a tourist. I've only started to see that for what it maybe should have been, a caution, in the last few months. I am overwhelmed by how broken people are here. I'll throw out the soapbox before I stand on it, but it's the first time I've really understood why sin is bad. I can see so much hurt here. And it's contagious. Not just in my host family, but pretty much every person I've gotten to know well here has shared with me some massive, gaping, festering emotional wounds (most in the last 2 weeks!). And some of them aren't even aware that they're problems, they seem to think that life just is that way. I am so overwhelmed and I am crap at making it any better. I see so little true joy, hope, peace or courage in people here lately. It's been a great lesson in choosing/finding them myself in spite of all this.
I unfortunately haven't gotten to know many people at the church I'm visiting to tell if there's a difference there - maybe they're just better at hiding it. I do think it might also be part of the smaller culture I'm living in here (i.e. private school, small town life). But I do also notice a bit of a culture difference between what Canadians, Germans, and Dutch families conceal, deny, or divulge. And I have to say I miss how Canadians do it! Countdown is on!
I do want to say, I love living here. Living in a foreign family is incredibly hard for me, but I LOVE living in a foreign country just as much as I thought I would. Even going to the drugstore is an adventure! I love speaking the language, meeting the people and making friends, EATING THE FOOD, starting a new routine, learning the customs, having strangers ask me for directions, PARTYING IN THE STREETS WHEN GERMANY WINS THE WORLD CUP (WELTMEISTER!), being foreign (when people are nice about it), running into other Canadians or even English speakers, etc... Living for the weekends!
For example, someone once mentioned to me that they'd spent some time travelling through southern Germany and were surprised by how spiritually dark it was. I thought that was such an odd perception to make as a tourist. I've only started to see that for what it maybe should have been, a caution, in the last few months. I am overwhelmed by how broken people are here. I'll throw out the soapbox before I stand on it, but it's the first time I've really understood why sin is bad. I can see so much hurt here. And it's contagious. Not just in my host family, but pretty much every person I've gotten to know well here has shared with me some massive, gaping, festering emotional wounds (most in the last 2 weeks!). And some of them aren't even aware that they're problems, they seem to think that life just is that way. I am so overwhelmed and I am crap at making it any better. I see so little true joy, hope, peace or courage in people here lately. It's been a great lesson in choosing/finding them myself in spite of all this.
I unfortunately haven't gotten to know many people at the church I'm visiting to tell if there's a difference there - maybe they're just better at hiding it. I do think it might also be part of the smaller culture I'm living in here (i.e. private school, small town life). But I do also notice a bit of a culture difference between what Canadians, Germans, and Dutch families conceal, deny, or divulge. And I have to say I miss how Canadians do it! Countdown is on!
I do want to say, I love living here. Living in a foreign family is incredibly hard for me, but I LOVE living in a foreign country just as much as I thought I would. Even going to the drugstore is an adventure! I love speaking the language, meeting the people and making friends, EATING THE FOOD, starting a new routine, learning the customs, having strangers ask me for directions, PARTYING IN THE STREETS WHEN GERMANY WINS THE WORLD CUP (WELTMEISTER!), being foreign (when people are nice about it), running into other Canadians or even English speakers, etc... Living for the weekends!